Stromberg's Adoption Dream

The journey to our little girl in China

Happy Birthday Lydia!

This post is late in coming, but Lydia is two!  On April 12th we celebrated her with a sweet little family birthday party.  We decided on a farm theme because since she arrived home we have read her Big Red Barn, for every nap and bedtime.  She loves the animals and the rhythmic storyline and what strikes us as funny is that she has most positively never actually seen a farm.  🙂  None-the-less it’s her favorite.  So with toy farm animals and a farm themed cake we celebrated little Lydia DanQing.  Her first birthday party.  Wow.  To think how we fussed over first birthday parties for our boys and here she was being truly celebrated for the first time.  It was a wonderful day.

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In contrast her actual birthday, two days before her party April 10, was a bit of a strange day for me.  I experienced a strange mixture of joy and grief on that day.  Adoption is beautiful, and messy and as I think my older sister put it once, life can be a bit of ‘beautiful mess.’  That’s how it felt on Lydia’s birthday.  I woke up, went in to her room, got my usual big bear hug from her, snuggled her, and went about getting ready for the day.  I was overcome with my love for her.  Lars and I say it often, “we couldn’t love her any more!”  She is so wonderful.  After knowing her for all of three months I could say she is quick to learn, clever, determined, responsive, receptive and  SO loving.  She is ‘all-in’. She snuggles hard and hugs tight and wants to be held most the time.  She can’t get enough.  She is a beautiful, active, smart little girl and she is a delight.  …Here is where the ‘mess’ comes in.

Somewhere in China, there is a woman who will never know her daughter.  At one point in the day I was overcome with sadness over this fact, and  sat sobbing at my computer.  I just sobbed.  Grieving for Lydia’s mother  in China who didn’t get to know this child.  I think of Lydia’s birth mother often, like every day.  I pray for her and I wonder about her.  And I grieve for her loss.  Because no matter the difficult circumstances surrounding her being unable to keep Lydia, she gave birth to a child, and is I’m sure, remembering her in some way.

This email best sums up the emotions of the day for me.  And for all the fellow adoptive parents reading this blog, I’m sure I’m not alone in the emotional messiness I experienced on this day.

“Family,
What a special day. A bittersweet day. So strange the emotions I’m feeling. I could not be more in love with this little gem that has forever changed our world. I am so, her mother. She is ours, such a treasure. Such a gift to us.
And yet, I have burst into tears twice today as I think of Lydia’s mother in China. Because no matter the circumstances that surrounded her having to give up her baby girl, she is remembering today…this week…last week, whenever her real birthday is/was. She will never forget carrying Lydia and giving her away. I am so overcome with grief for a woman I will never, ever know. The reality of her loss has hit me like a brick and I’m just so sad for her.
So, please pray that this mother out there somewhere, halfway around the world, has some crazy knowing sense that Lydia is fine. That she is adopted and loved and provided for. I believe God is that big, so pray with me.

Love you dear family.
Kate”

And God is that big.  So if you’re a praying person, pray with me. Pray for Lydia’s birth mother (and father) somewhere in China.  That God would touch their lives, reveal himself, bring them health and peace and a knowing sense that Lydia has found a home where she is safe and healthy and loved.

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6 thoughts on “Happy Birthday Lydia!

  1. Carolyn Peterson on said:

    Yes Katie I just prayed for Lydias mother and for Lydias American Mother and Dad–so glad you are enjoying that special little girl. She is soooo blessed to be in your home. I have had 2 bad days–my dear Bob has been in Heaven for 6 months and I will never quit missing him.  How the tears just keep coming—such a different world.  ( what did I hit to change the print!!!?)    I know I am blessed with many good friends but I am here alone. Yesterday I had lunch with the clerk I met at Walgreens, she is a widow too–a nice Catholic lady. Tomorrow our Group from church has lunch together  nine of us–guys and girls. See you Sun.—Corky and Doug come on Sat.  yaaaaaa.    Gramma

  2. I have tears in my eyes, after reading your blog post, Katie! Thanks for sharing Lydia’s wonderful 2nd birthday, the first birthday with you and your family! How awesomely wonderful and I’m very happy for Lydia and for all of you and your extended family, too!

    Thanks for sharing the “rest of the story” of her birthday, too, and how it hit you. I have another friend who experienced something similar, when her adopted daughter’s birthday arrived.

    Yes, I would be and am very happy to pray for Lydia’s mother and her father, as well, just as you asked. It was a beautiful prayer for them. I will pray for you and your family, too!

    God bless you all!

  3. Alyce Hawkinson on said:

    Thanks for this lovely note and I’m sure Lydia had a great birthday!  I think of you often and am so very thankful that all of this has worked out so beautifully.   Love from the woods of Wisconsin, Grandma H 

  4. Hi! This is my first time finding your blog. Congrats on your adoption and your beautiful family. We’re about to send our dossier to China, hopefully in July.

    What a sweet birthday party! Yes, you’re right – I so fussed about every detail of my bio kids’ first birthday parties. It will indeed be a celebration when we bring our newest little one home! I especially love the cake and cow balloons – so fun!

    You’re right, adoption is so complex and bittersweet. Thank you for sharing openly about some of the harder parts. I will pray for Lydia’s birthmom, and that someone will share the Good News with her so you can meet her in Heaven and introduce her to the beautiful daughter you share.

  5. PS – Our adopted daughter was going to be Lydia, too! A close friend used the name, with our blessing, so now we’re considering other options. 🙂 It’s one of our favorite names.

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